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Monday, May 14th, 2007
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8:52a - Covered with booboos.
My head smacked against a seat rail when I dozed off on the bus this morning, prompting me to let out a loud girlish yelp. Bus manufacturers should pad the seat rails so people don't crack their skull on 'em, or involuntarily expose their wussiness. In fact, buses would be a lot safer if the interior were made entirely of rubber.
Last night's dreams were haunted by intermixed episodes of unusual carnal endeavors, car chases involving automatic riffles and grenades, moments of temporary flight, and being mugged by a street gang. I'm sure you can understand why I constantly get reality mixed up with my imagination. They're not that different.
Did you know that the late Richard Wagner would often dress up as a Valkyrie on his yearly vacation retreat in Hömenburg, and chase the villagers around on a horse (which was actually a monstrously obese donkey named Wotan)?
current mood: chipper (3 comments |comment on this)
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10:44a - ( * ) ( * )
I embedded some ASCII art depicting a topless girl (I think it's Shirley Booth, but I can't say for sure) within the code due for the next release. Will it go through the production chain undetected? Only time will tell.
Down with code reviews, for they encumber our childish freedom to amuse and offend.
Who's with me, other than the crickets?
current mood: evil (2 comments |comment on this)
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3:13p
What's the point of all this documentation, use cases, class diagrams, data models, and time reporting?! Who in their right mind would ever want to voluntarily read all of it? And if nobody reads it, then what good is it? This brings to mind my favourite Day of the Dead monologue:We don't believe in what you're doing here, Sarah. Hey, you know what they keep down here in this cave? Man, they got the books and the records of the top hundred companies. They got the Defense Department budget down here. And they got the negatives for all your favorite movies. They got microfilm with tax returns and newspaper stories. They got immigration records, census reports, and they got the accounts of all the wars and plane crashes and volcano eruptions and earthquakes and fires and floods and all the other disasters that interrupted the flow of things in the good ole U.S. of A. Now what does it matter, Sarah darling? All this filing and record keeping? We ever gonna give a shit? We even gonna get a chance to see it all? This is a great, big 14 mile TOMBSTONE with an epitaph on it that nobody gonna bother to read. Now, here you come, here you come, with a whole new set of charts and graphs and records. What you gonna do? Bury them down here with all the other relics of what once was? Let me tell you what else; you ain't never gonna figure it out, just like they never figured out why the stars are where they're at. It ain't mankind's job to figure that stuff out. So what you're doing is a waste of time, Sarah. And time is all we got left, you know. What I'm doing is all there's left to do... Shame on you. There's plenty to do, plenty to do, so long as there's you and me and maybe some other people. We could start over, start fresh, make some babies and teach 'em, Sarah, teach 'em, never to come over here and dig these records out. -- John (Day of the Dead)
Now, ain't it more fun to quote Day of the Dead? You betcha.
The London Pride will wash away...
current mood: bored (2 comments |comment on this)
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3:26p - Jedi Mondegreen
From The Empire Strikes Back:Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son. -- Darth Vader
For the longest time, I misheard Vader saying "... we can rule the galaxy as far from Sun", which left me perplexed and a bit worried that the Empire would someday tighten their grip 'round our little rock. Fortunately, all my worries of an Imperial invasion were laid to rest after I watched Return of the Jedi.
P.S. (for those who haven't seen Empire): Sorry for revealing the planet-shattering surprise that is Vader's fatherhood! :-/ But at least you'll get the giggles in Return of the Jédaïlle, when Kenobi tries to sidle his way around his stinky LIES by overwhelming Luke with sophistic verbiage about people's points-of-view, etc.
P.S.S.: I submit that lying should be against the Jedi code. Because a rule must be enforced by severe punishments, let's say ... any Knight caught in a lie would be mandated to attend a dinner date with Jar-Jar Binks. Masters, due to their seniority and thus the heightened desirability of making an example out of 'em, would be sentenced to the domestic care of that ugly bird that sits next to Jabba (poop scooping, breast feeding, wart-popping, ...)
current mood: relieved (2 comments |comment on this)
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